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What Kind Of Beer Are You?

Hop-oscope? Beer-strology? No.

Look - if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t really subscribe to the mystical determination of astrological signs. I had a Grade 10 English teacher use my supposed Capricorn-ness as an insult that, quite frankly, still goes over my head, and I’ve sworn off the whole thing ever since. However, I do believe in the ancient power of (you guessed it) beer to expose the deep recesses of our innermost selves. Don’t quite follow? Well, let’s look at the four of our hop-forward beers as an example.

Revealed Constellations SMaSH IPA: Your subdued personality is never mistaken for being shy. It’s quiet confidence. Your ability to go with the flow and adapt leaves you welcome and comfortable in almost any scenario. That’s why your fridge is lined with this 4.4% ode to the gentler execution of hops. Light bodied and brightly aromatic with notes of tangerine and mango, you’re here to break the ice and leave people at ease.

Let’s Go Exploring DDH IPA: You noble traditionalist you. Studious and passionate. Ever enticed by tales of the past, you keep an open mind to not stop yourself from moving forward. Of course you reach for a beer that modernizes the West Coast IPA, without losing its hallmarks. Bold, juicy melon and crisp citrus is backed up with just enough pine to be reminiscent of the past, while gentler bitterness keeps things present.

Slack Tide Session NEIPA: We have a whimsical starchild in our midst! You have a bold personality that is careful to leave room for everybody else. Winter? Not for you. You require sunlight for basking. Your IPA match is cloudy and pillowy soft. Aromas of coconut, lime, and mango practically explode out of a just cracked can, making their presence well known in the room. Bitterness takes a backseat to massive tropical flavours, while a 4.2% ABV makes sure that you can keep the good times rolling.

Insubordination DIPA: Wildcard. Every group has to have one, and you just happen to be it. You’re the life of the party, and always manage to plant yourself in the spotlight. Sure, some people may prefer you in smaller doses, but they’re always happy you’re around. Of course you’re a massive 9% DIPA, that dials up every element to match the ABV. El Dorado, Galaxy, Idaho 7, and Enigma all combine for a massive profile with notes of mango and cantaloupe up front, turning over to blood orange and dank pine. The bitterness is clean and subdued, allowing a gently warm finish to remind you to keep a slightly slower pace with this one.

Want to test the accuracy of my booze-addled mysticism? Grab a Hop Box which is available both online and in store, and has six of each of these distinct IPAs!

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